Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Coffee colored disaster

What started out as a fairly innocuous day has grown rather fretful. While preparing numbers at work I reach for my cup of coffee to take a drink. A fairly mundane task. I tip the cup to allow the brown colored liquid inside to flow into my mouth and end up pouring it down the front of my tan polo shirt. Bother.

Looking at the clock I realize that I haven't been at work for an hour yet and already I am blundering around like an idiot. I go to the latrine to asses the damage and see a rather large stain - about the size of a fifty-cent piece- along the neck line of my shirt.

Ok, so I have a stain. A rather large stain. But, I feel confident that I can take care of the problem with a quick trip to JC Penny's just down the block. I hide in my office until 9:45 and then announce that I am going to get the mail So far no one has seen my shirt and the massive stain that has now settled in. Apparently the coffee I made this morning is strong because even my stain is emitting an aroma.

I head down the stairs and out the front door onto the busy streets of Sheridan, Wyoming's downtown. I maneuver through the masses until I arrive at the front door of the department store, I reach for the handle as my eyes look at the sign denoting hours of operation. I come up short. Hmm. They don't open till 10 a.m. I check my Samsung Gem phone and realize I still have 13 minutes before they open. Bother.

I decide what I need is more coffee. I head down Main St. till I come to Alger st. I hang a right and walk down to City Brew. The coffee shop is located adjacent to one of my new favorite spots in Sheridan, The Black Tooth brewery. I step inside and, instead of being assailed with the smell of coffee, I am greeted with the smell of hops and mash. Yum.

I order a coffee, a Black Tooth Brewing coffee mug and head down to the Post Office. I grab the mail and then gimp - my knee is still rather messed up at this point- back down to JC Penny's.

Now, in the perfect world this all went off without a hitch, however; today wasn't the case. As I was walking past the movie theater I stumbled and spilled coffee down the front of my shirt. Really, I think. Can this truly be happening. I wipe off the coffee and gaze and the new stain that is spreading across my portly front. Be more careful, I tell myself. Too bad I don't listen.

Leaving the Post Office with mail in hand, an elderly gentleman bumps into me and sends coffee poring down my side. I shake my head. At this point I am looking like a clown wearing coffee-colored polka-dots. Do they make a coffee-colored dye? It might be easier than dealing with this.

At JC Penny's I carefully navigate my way to the mens section. I find a reasonably priced shirt, make my purchase and head out the door. I limp up the front steps of my office building, slip in the side door to my office and quickly doff my stained shirt and pull on the new one. Disaster avoided.

Now my coffee is finished, I am wearing a nice, dark blue shirt, and am finishing up this writing. I think it might be best if I avoid any more coffee today. Possibly even anything else that is likely to stain.