Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Some facts about me

Let's be honest! Ok, so, I am going to put myself out there a bit and tell you several facts about me that you may or may not know. This is a little scary as it forces me to be honest with myself. So here goes.

1. I enjoy food but am horribly picky
The list of things I don't like tends to surprise people. I do not like most cheeses, I abhor pasta, and the thought of sour cream makes me cringe. I can not stand most cheese sauces, either.

2. I smoked for almost 20 years
Quitting was, without a doubt, the best thing I have ever done for myself. Nasty habit. Pretty sure most of you knew I smoked, though.

3. I used to be something of a cutter
That's hard to admit, but I have written it here before. I used to think cutting myself was a good way to deal with depression. I have not done it for more than 20 years but, sometimes I still have the urge.

4. I struggle with depression and anxiety
Yeah, I figure most of you know that. Some days are better than others but I get by. Being creative, or learning new things helps a lot.

5. I love musicals and have performed in a few
It is not uncommon for me to sing songs from Les Mis, Phantom of the Opera, or Guys and Dolls when I am alone. I love the song My Wild Irish Rose from The Music Man, and would love to be part of a Barber Shop quartet to perform it.

6. I do not understand hatred
Don't get me wrong, there are things I don't like but, I don't get hatred so intense it leads to killing. Perhaps the 'Like to Teach the World to Sing' song hit me at the perfect time. I truly do want people to live in peace. I would love to find a way to work towards it.

7. Although I can't stand bullies, I think they, too, deserve another chance
I don't think people are naturally evil. I think we are brought up that way. I think even a bully can be taught to love people.

8. I doubt my own intelligence and often times refrain from joining a conversation for fear of sounding like an idiot
There are people I converse with that I think are far more intelligent than I. As a result, I tend to lean towards silence instead of jumping in even if I know what I am talking about. Self-confidence issue, for sure.

9. I taught myself to play the guitar and am learning to play the mandolin
Yeah, not a big deal, but I did it. I am not any good at it, but I try. Same goes for the mandolin. I have learned a few songs and am having fun with it.

10. I worry about being a good example for my boys
I know I get angry and fly off the handle sometimes. I worry my kids see that and will act that way, too. I am actively trying to reign myself in when I find my frustration levels getting high. I want my boys to treat people with respect, no matter who they are. I try to do this every day. I hope they see it. I, further, want them to be kind to their fellow man. Again, something I try to do every day.  I also want them to have respect for women. Again, something I strive to show, every day.

11. I am immensely proud of my boys
I know they have their struggles. I know sometimes we don't agree on much but, I am so very proud of the young men they are becoming.

12. I am not sure where I would be today if I hadn't met my wife
I used to say I was going to grow up and live in the mountains alone. I was convinced I was too broken to be with anyone until she came along.

13. I am a nerd (geek) through and through
From Star Trek to Star Wars and everything in between, I love it. I love games, fantasy, cosplay and more. I tend to hide it from people, especially in a professional setting, but it really is who I am.

14. I have recurring nightmares and night terrors
Currently, the nightmare (although it's not so scary anymore) is of me dying before I turn 45. I am not sure what it means, but there you have it. As for night terrors, well, these are pretty intense. I haven't had one for about a year but man, do they linger. 

There you go. That's me. I am not perfect, but I am me. And that's all that matters.
Got some fact about you you want to share? Type it in the comments.